Let’s Talk About Sex Drive: Why It Matters and How to Boost It

We don’t talk about sexual health nearly enough. It’s almost as taboo as discussing bathroom issues—but let’s be honest, these are basic human needs. Whether we’re actively having sex or not, most of us think about intimacy, want it in our lives, and feel better when our bodies (and hearts) are connected in that way.

I’ll admit it: I haven’t had intimacy in over a year. Still, that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. While low libido hasn’t been part of my personal story, I’ve watched friends struggle with it, and I’ve seen how common it is in the healthcare spaces I’ve worked in. Out of genuine care and curiosity, I’ve read and researched, hoping to understand better. And if there’s one thing I love, it’s talking about the things people shy away from—because we all deserve better than silence. This space feels like the right place to share—not as a professional, but simply as a woman who believes intimacy, in all its forms, deserves to be talked about with honesty, compassion, and courage.

Because here’s the truth: when two people are in love, intimacy isn’t just a “bonus.” It’s the glue. And if there are struggles—desire that’s gone missing, fear after loss, or simply changes with age—that glue can crack. But it doesn’t have to.

Let’s get real. Here’s what you need to know about sex drive, why it changes, and how both women and men can reclaim it—whether you’re 40 or 70, single or partnered.

🚺 Her Spark: Women and Libido

Why Sex Drive Changes

Hormones shift. Stress, relationships, and health changes pile on. Comfort, confidence, and desire can all take a hit. Low libido is common and—here’s the good news—treatable.

What Helps

• Estrogen (creams/rings): Helps with dryness and comfort.

• Testosterone (low dose): Can improve desire—worth a conversation with your doctor.

• Intrarosa (prasterone insert): A DHEA-based vaginal treatment that restores tissue, boosts lubrication, and reduces pain.

• Medications for premenopausal women:

  • Addyi (flibanserin): A daily pill that works in the brain to help “turn on” desire. Taken at bedtime, never with alcohol.

  • Vyleesi (bremelanotide): A self-injection before intimacy that can increase arousal.

Slippery When Wet: Lubricants & Moisturizers

• Silicone: Astroglide X, Pjur Original, Überlube – silky and long-lasting (skip with silicone toys).

• Water-based: Sliquid H2O, Good Clean Love “Almost Naked” – toy-safe, easy to wash off, gentle.

• Moisturizers: Revaree (hyaluronic acid), Hyalo GYN – not just for sex, but for day-to-day comfort.

💪 Everyday Kegels: The Sexy Strength Move You Can Do Anywhere

Kegels are small but mighty. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles—the ones that support your bladder, bowels, and reproductive organs. Strong pelvic muscles mean better bladder control, stronger orgasms, and improved blood flow.

How to do them:

• Squeeze as if you’re holding in urine or gas.

• Hold for 5 seconds, relax for 5 seconds.

• Repeat 10–15 times, working up to 10-second holds.

When to do them:

• 🚦 At a red light

• ☕ While pouring coffee

• 📱 When checking your phone

• 🦷 While brushing your teeth

• 📺 During commercial breaks

Aim for 3 sets a day—consistency is the magic. Like brushing your teeth, it’s a daily habit for lifelong health, pleasure, and confidence.

Lifestyle & Confidence

• Exercise & strength training: Improves energy, mood, and circulation.

• Mindfulness and therapy: Reduce anxiety, refocus on pleasure.

• Nutrition & sleep: The basics matter.

Self-Pleasure (Yes, We’re Going There)

Masturbation isn’t shameful—it’s healthy. It increases circulation, helps you learn what feels good, reduces stress, and builds confidence for intimacy with a partner.

🚹 His Fire: Men and Libido

Why Sex Drive Changes

Testosterone naturally declines with age. Stress, chronic illness, or simply being away from intimacy can add layers of fear and dysfunction. The good news? These changes are common and treatable.

What Helps

• Check testosterone levels: Replacement may help if levels are truly low.

• ED medications (Viagra, Cialis): Improve erections but don’t fix desire on their own.

• Review current meds: Some prescriptions lower libido (antidepressants, blood pressure meds, opioids, benzodiazepines, antipsychotics, prostate meds like finasteride, and certain seizure drugs). There are often safer alternatives.

Everyday Boosters

• Exercise (strength, cardio, HIIT): Boosts testosterone and body confidence.

• Sleep: Testosterone is mostly made during sleep—so don’t skimp on those 7–9 hours.

• Mediterranean diet: Good for your heart and your hormones.

• Limit alcohol & smoking: Both are erection-killers.

• Therapy/sex counseling: Especially helpful if anxiety is part of the picture.

• Masturbation: Keeps circulation strong and helps maintain function.

Natural Helpers

• Ashwagandha: May support testosterone and satisfaction.

• Maca root: Modest libido booster.

• L-arginine + Pycnogenol: May support erectile function.

💊 Libido Roadblocks: Medications to Watch

Sometimes the very things keeping you alive and well can make your sex drive tank. Here are some common culprits—and potential alternatives to ask your doctor about:

• Antidepressants (SSRIs/SNRIs): Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil → Consider Wellbutrin.

• Blood pressure meds: Beta-blockers, thiazide diuretics → Consider ACE inhibitors or ARBs.

• Opioids (chronic use): Oxycodone, Methadone → Explore non-opioid pain management.

• Anti-anxiety meds: Benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium) → Consider therapy, SSRIs, or lifestyle approaches.

• Antipsychotics: Risperidone, Olanzapine → Sometimes Aripiprazole or a dose adjustment helps.

• 5-Alpha Reductase inhibitors: Finasteride, Dutasteride → Consider alpha-blockers or topical options for hair loss.

• Anti-seizure meds: Phenytoin, Carbamazepine → Lamotrigine or levetiracetam may be alternatives.

💡 Bedroom Boosts: Practical Tips for Everyone

• Schedule intimacy when you feel most rested and connected.

• Focus on touch, closeness, and playfulness—desire often follows.

• Communicate openly with your partner about what feels good (and what doesn’t).

• Take pressure off—it’s not about perfection, it’s about connection.

🗣 Let’s Remove the Taboo

Sexual health isn’t dirty, shameful, or selfish. It’s human. And just like eating well or exercising, tending to intimacy—alone or with a partner—keeps us healthier, happier, and more connected.

If you’re struggling, talk to your healthcare provider. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner. Openness, laughter, and curiosity can bring desire back to life.

Because at the end of the day, intimacy isn’t about performance—it’s about connection. And when we dare to talk about it honestly, we give ourselves permission to not just exist, but to fully live, love, and enjoy.

💋 Until next time,

Honey