How Many Friends Do You Really Need?

A reflection on connection, meaning, and what truly matters. 🐝💛

Hey y’all—Here’s something I’ve been thinking about. We live in a world with more than 8 billion people, yet somehow we still get caught up in the idea of popularity, social proof, and who has the longest guest list.

But really… what does it even mean to be “popular,” if you feel lonely in a crowded room?

Big Circles vs. Deep Roots

Some folks have wide social circles—dozens of old friends, work friends, casual friends, going-out friends, holiday card friends... the list goes on. Others, like me, keep a smaller circle—just a handful of people who feel like home. And that’s okay, too.

Some people live surrounded by what I like to call “cheers and beers” connections—fun, surface-level friendships that can bring laughter and joy but don’t always show up in the silence. And while those friendships have their place, they may not offer the kind of soul-deep presence we need when life gets quiet or messy.

It's Not the Number—It's the Depth

Research indicates that most people have between 3 and 5 close friends, and even fewer of those remain constant over time. Perhaps it’s time we stop measuring connection by the numbers—and start measuring it by its depth.

Because it’s not about how many people know your name. It’s about how many know your heart.

A Message for My Granddaughter

If I could offer anything to my granddaughter-or anyone I love—it would be this:

Don’t waste your precious life trying to be everything to everyone.

Choose people who feel safe. Who listen. Who make space for your light and your lows.

And if you ever find that one soul—a partner who feels like home—it’s as if the world exhales around you. That kind of love wraps you in warmth, steadies your heart, and quietly colors every part of your life with something golden. While true love deserves to be seen, it doesn’t demand the spotlight… it simply makes everything else glow.

Final Thoughts

Whether your circle is wide or just a few chairs around a quiet table, let those seats be filled with people who see you. That’s what matters. That’s what lasts.

With grace and joy,

MaryNell

🍯 www.LivelyByHoney.com