Love, Loss, and Learning What Commitment Really Means

When love is real, it doesn’t hide you, postpone you, or make you compete with anyone else’s approval. True love commits. And if it doesn’t, the bravest thing you can do is let go, live fully, and trust that love will find you again when it’s right. 💛

You deserve a love that chooses you fully—without hesitation.

There’s a kind of love you feel in your bones the moment you meet. A spark so sure, you believe you’ve finally found your soul mate. I felt that. I believed it was real. And part of me still believes he felt it too.

But here’s what I’ve learned: sometimes love is not enough if the person you love can’t choose you fully. Sometimes their people-pleasing gets in the way—listening more to an ex, siblings, or friends—anyone but the person they claim to love. And when that happens, you can’t carry both hearts. You can’t walk hand in hand if the other person won’t hold on.

The Lesson of Commitment

True love isn’t just words. It isn’t just sharing space or playing house. It’s choosing each other, day after day, and building a life together.

• Dating for years without clear commitment is a sign.

• Living together without devotion is proximity, not partnership.

• Promises without follow-through are just words.

It’s not selfish to expect commitment—it’s fair. If they can’t offer it, then as much as it hurts, the truth is simple: they don’t love you the way you love them.

What Real Love Looks Like

Real love puts you first, not last.

Real love protects you, not hides you.

Real love honors you in front of family and friends, instead of asking you to stay small so someone else feels comfortable.

Real love doesn’t require you to fight for your place—it gives you one freely.

When It’s Time to Let Go

Letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t love deeply. It means you finally love yourself enough to stop waiting for someone who won’t choose you. And though it’s hard—and I won’t pretend it isn’t—you will find strength in releasing what was never truly yours.

You don’t have to rush into dating again. You don’t have to replace them quickly. You can take time to breathe, to reset, and to remember that your life is still yours to live—fully, vibrantly, beautifully.

The Next Step After Letting Go

For a long time, I thought that once I accepted the truth—that he wasn’t coming back, that he didn’t choose me—that would be the moment I was ready to start dating again. I believed that letting go was the finish line. But what I’ve learned is that acceptance was only the first step.

It took me a long time to reach that acceptance, and now that I’m here, I can see clearly: my heart still needs time. Time to heal. Time to prepare. Time to make room for the kind of love I truly deserve.

I’ve realized I don’t need to rush into seeking someone new, because I am a one-man woman. I value loyalty, devotion, and a man who will choose me intentionally, without hesitation. To pretend I’m ready when I’m not would only disappoint me—and that’s not fair to myself. If the right man comes along and sweeps me off my feet, wonderful. But I’m not actively seeking right now, and I’m proud to admit that. There’s strength in saying, I’m not ready yet.

And when I reflect on my own loss, I find gratitude in remembering that mine is a loss of love, not of life. My heart broke, but he is still alive. He is still here in this world, still blessing others with his presence. That reminder gives me perspective, because there are people right now facing the unthinkable—the loss of their true love to death.

I think of Erika Kirk, mourning the loss of her beloved husband, Charlie. The world didn’t wait for the voices of siblings or friends or an ex—we looked to her. His true love. His chosen partner. The woman who expected to lay in his arms every night for the rest of her life, only to find that “forever” was cut short much too soon.

And in that, I see the clearest picture of what true love is. It is partnership. It is belonging. It is the unshakable truth that when a man is a real man, his wife and children are the center of his world—the people who matter most.

That is the kind of love I want. That is the kind of love I am waiting for. And I am learning to be okay with the waiting, because healing my heart first is the best gift I can give myself—and someday, the man who is meant for me.

Advice for the Heartbroken

• Believe actions over words.

• Expect clarity, not excuses.

• Protect your joy—don’t mute it to make someone else comfortable.

• Don’t accept being hidden, minimized, or postponed.

• And most importantly: don’t stop living, even if that means doing more alone for a while.

Because alone isn’t empty. Alone can be peaceful, empowering, and full of possibility. And someday, if love finds you again, you’ll recognize it—not by how quickly your heart races, but by how consistently your soul feels safe.

💛 Honey Note:

Acceptance is not the end of your healing—it’s the beginning. Take your time. Protect your heart. And when love comes again, may it be the kind that chooses you fully, without hesitation, without conditions, without apology.

With love, grace, and a heart still wide open,

💫 Honey

PS: Sometimes the hardest truth is also the most freeing—missing someone doesn’t mean you were meant to keep them. It means you loved deeply, and that love will lead you toward something truer, safer, and more beautiful.