Part 5: Integration — What the Gut (and Life) Keeps Teaching Us

When I first started this series, I had no idea where it would lead.

We began with bowel movements — what’s normal(-ish), what’s not, and why listening matters. Then we wandered into the gut microbiome, cravings, planned abstinence, boundaries, and love. Somewhere along the way, I realized this wasn’t really a series about digestion at all.

It was a series about paying attention.

To the body.

To patterns.

To what nourishes us — and what quietly doesn’t.

And as I sat with the first four posts, a handful of thoughtful, practical questions kept rising. The kind people might wonder about but not always ask out loud. So let’s linger here for a moment and tie the threads together.

“Normal” doesn’t have to look one way

One question that comes up often is this:

If someone usually has a bowel movement in the morning, then needs to go again 15 or 20 minutes later — and that’s been their normal for years — is something wrong?

The gentle answer is: not necessarily.

One-and-done may be ideal for many people, but bodies are wonderfully individual. If someone feels well, isn’t straining, doesn’t feel uncomfortable, and doesn’t have other symptoms like pain, bleeding, or distress, then having a second, follow-up bowel movement may simply be their rhythm.

Constipation isn’t defined by a stopwatch or a single standard. It’s defined more by how it feels — ease, completeness, and comfort.

That said, if something changes suddenly or begins to feel bothersome, that’s when a conversation with a healthcare provider makes sense. Awareness is the goal, not perfection.

About lingering on the toilet (a loving nudge)

Another practical thought worth mentioning: some people finish their bowel movement quickly… but then linger. Reading, scrolling, zoning out.

While it may feel harmless, spending unnecessary time on the toilet can contribute to:

• pelvic floor strain

• hemorrhoids

• pressure that doesn’t really need to be there

The body actually does best when we treat the bathroom like a pit stop, not a lounge.

Go when you need to go.

Finish when you’re finished.

Wipe, flush, wash your hands — and go enjoy your day.

There’s something quietly respectful about that.

Diversity is the secret sauce — in guts and in life

One of the most meaningful insights to emerge from this series is how much the gut thrives on diversity.

A healthy microbiome isn’t ruled by one perfect strain. It flourishes when many organisms coexist, each doing their part. That diversity creates resilience, adaptability, and strength.

Sameness may feel safe — but diversity is what sustains systems when conditions change.

And yes… we humans could learn a lot from that.

Different foods.

Different people.

Different paths.

Health — personal and collective — rarely comes from uniformity.

A note on miso (and not needing every bite to be medicinal)

Since miso came up in this series, and I love including it in my soups, it’s worth discussing:

Yes, heat reduces miso’s live probiotic content.

No, that doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Even when cooked, miso still offers:

• prebiotics that feed existing gut bacteria

• anti-inflammatory compounds

• minerals and amino acids

• deep, comforting umami flavor

And comfort matters.

Not every meal needs to be optimized. Not every bite needs to perform. Sometimes the most nourishing question isn’t “Did this bacteria survive?” but “Did this meal calm me, satisfy me, and make my body feel safe?”

Your gut listens to that too.

Abstinence isn’t deprivation — it’s discernment

One theme that wove itself through every part of this series is abstinence — and how often it’s misunderstood.

When I say I don’t eat meat, don’t drink alcohol, don’t eat certain foods, or don’t keep tabs on people from my past, some find that limiting. But for me, abstaining is freeing.

It allows me to fully enjoy what I do choose.

I can sit happily with berries and whipped cream or apples and cashew butter while someone else enjoys cake and ice cream — and feel perfectly content. Why would I restart a loop when I’m already at peace?

The same applies to emotional boundaries. Choosing not to ask, not to search, not to engage doesn’t mean something (or someone) didn’t matter. It simply means I value my healing more than feeding a loop.

That isn’t weird.

That’s wise.

Not all carbs — or connections — are created equal

This idea shows up beautifully when we think about blood sugar.

As a Type 1 diabetic, my body doesn’t distinguish much between sugar from dessert or carbohydrates from beans — insulin is required either way. But the nutrients matter. One offers empty calories; the other offers fiber, protein, and nourishment.

Same category. Different impact.

Life works like that too.

All relationships aren’t equal.

All foods aren’t equal.

All experiences aren’t equal.

Context matters. Quality matters. And being chosen matters — but only when the person choosing you is someone you would choose back.

As for everyone else? Their opinions don’t define you. They don’t change your life. They don’t alter who you are.

The quiet wisdom underneath it all

If there’s one lesson this series keeps circling back to, it’s this:

The body knows before the mind explains.

The gut tells us when something isn’t nourishing.

The nervous system tells us when something isn’t safe.

The heart tells us when it needs rest, not regulation.

Listening earlier saves recovery later.

🍯 Honey Note

What we feed thrives. What we neglect fades.

That’s true for guts, relationships, communities, and dreams.

This series wasn’t about fixing anything.

It was about noticing.

About trusting patterns.

About choosing peace over noise.

Health, love, and joy rarely arrive through force. They grow when conditions are right — when there is consistency, diversity, safety, and care.

And when we live that way, we don’t miss out.

We settle in.

Warmly,

MaryNell (Honey) 🐝

P.S. In seven weeks, I’ll be in Italy — eating the pasta, ordering the gelato, walking it off, living beautifully, and not explaining a single decision to anyone. My gut has approved this plan. Questions will not be taken… the radical act of not explaining myself to a single soul. Highly recommend. 🇮🇹🍝🍦🐝💥