Lessons from a Heart That Broke—And Became My Guide

✨ Pursue love with hope in your heart, and remember—true commitment is simply one long, joy-filled date.

Lessons from a Heart That Broke

I remember the lies, the exclusions, the silence. I remember being hidden, muted, unchosen. But what I carry forward isn’t the pain—it’s the lesson: I will never again be anything less than chosen.

There’s a certain kind of heartbreak that doesn’t just hurt—it rearranges you. It strips away the illusions you clung to, exposes the cracks you tried to cover, and forces you to ask the hardest question of all: Was any of it real, or was I only holding on to what I wanted to believe?

When I look back on mine, I see it clearly now.

The Things I Remember

I remember how he let his family’s dislike of me stand—sisters and an ex-wife who had never even given me a chance, and who had no right to judge or interfere in the life we were building. I remember how he told me he wanted to spend his life with me, but couldn’t commit—as if those words meant the same thing to both of us.

I remember the ring, wrapped in a story about his mother’s wedding band, only to later find out it was a fabrication. A symbol that should have meant forever turned out to be nothing more than a meaningless piece of metal.

I remember the times I was hidden—from photos, from vacations, from the very life he claimed he wanted to share. My happiness had to be muted, my love kept quiet, my presence diminished so others would not be uncomfortable.

I remember his ex-wife’s feelings placed before mine, even as I was the woman sharing his home and his bed.

And perhaps most painfully of all, I remember forgiving it all—because I wanted so desperately to believe in us. I forgave him out of love, but not with strings attached or doors left open. I released him fully, because I love myself too—and loving myself means carrying the lessons forward. Forgiveness doesn’t erase what I’ve learned; it only frees me from carrying his mistakes any longer.

The Strength You Don’t See at First

At first, heartbreak feels like a hollowing-out. But slowly, if you’re willing to face it, the lessons begin to emerge.

You learn that “forever” means nothing without consistent actions. That love is more than proximity—it’s devotion, loyalty, and showing up even when it’s inconvenient.

You learn that if someone doesn’t protect you, they don’t truly value you.

You learn that your openness, your honesty, and your generosity are not flaws. They are treasures—you simply gave them to someone who didn’t know how to hold them.

And you learn that forgiveness doesn’t require returning. Grace is a gift you give yourself, but it doesn’t mean they deserve a place in your future.

Red Flag Reminders

• If you have to be hidden, you’re not being honored.

• If their family’s comfort always comes before your feelings, you’ll always come last.

• If love has to be kept off social media, it isn’t love that’s proud to be seen.

• If they lie to their grown children (or ex-wife) about you, they’ll lie to you too.

• If joy has to be muted to protect someone else, it isn’t real joy.

• If commitment is always “someday,” it’s really “never.”

• If they don’t protect you, they don’t value you.

• If they truly want to be with you, they will be. No excuses, no obstacles. They’ll show up, come for you, fight for you if they have to—because men don’t let go of the woman they love.

Carrying Hope Forward

The most brutal truth of all? You can miss someone and still know they weren’t good for you. Missing doesn’t mean you should have stayed together—it simply means you’re human, and you loved.

But here’s the beauty: a broken heart doesn’t make you weak. It teaches you what you deserve, what you’ll never again accept, and what real love should look like. That kind of strength is unshakable.

I’m learning that letting go of him isn’t about bitterness—it’s about reclaiming myself. Protecting my heart. Choosing my joy. Preparing for the love that will someday say: YOU—I don’t want to live without YOU.

And when that day comes, he will be nothing more than someone I used to know. His opinion of me, my choices, and how I live my life no longer hold any relevance. He has no true significance now beyond the lessons I’ve carried forward from the brief chapter we shared.

Honey Note

If you’re standing in the ruins of heartbreak, take heart: the ache won’t last forever. The wisdom will. One day, you’ll see that you didn’t just survive—you rebuilt, stronger, softer, wiser, and radiant.

🔥 Honey

P.S. Did he shatter me? Yes. But sometimes shattered glass catches the light in ways whole glass never could. And because of that, I know I am more than okay—I am better than I was before.

When Love Doesn’t Choose You

There’s nothing simple about love.

It can feel electric—like more than chemistry, more than just intimacy. It’s in the way you laugh together, the joy in doing everyday things side by side, the way even the food you love tastes better when shared. That kind of connection feels rare, natural, even divinely designed. So when it slips away, the missing feels unbearable.

I’ve been in that space. Missing someone who didn’t choose me.

And I’ve wrestled with the questions:

• What does it mean when the connection feels so right, but the choice isn’t mine?

• Do people ever come back? Do those stories exist outside of movies—someone returning after years to profess their love, realizing you were the one they should never have let go?

The truth is, while statistics don’t really offer much comfort here—the heart isn’t made of data. Every story is different. And sometimes the more important statistic is this: God still chooses me. Every single day.

When someone doesn’t, I can’t let that define my worth.

I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. The right man—the one meant to be in my life—will know it, feel it, and hold on tight. He won’t leave space for interference or doubts. He won’t let me go.

The Complications of Love

Relationships are rarely two-person stories. Family, friends, fear, pride—there are so many voices that can interfere. Sometimes love gets tangled up in those complications until it’s unrecognizable. And then, even if the electricity is still there, the choice slips away.

That’s when the hard work begins: accepting not being chosen.

Letting go doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. It means the story wasn’t mine to finish.

Choosing to Keep Living

I don’t want to be alone forever. And I don’t believe I will be. But for now, I’m learning, growing, staying busy, and allowing myself to feel the ache without letting it drown me. Some days, I convince myself I’m ready to move on—and then I freeze, unable to take the step. Missing is hard. But maybe that’s part of the process: grieving what I thought could be, while still opening my heart for what is yet to come.

Because here’s the deeper truth:

Love that is truly meant for me won’t need chasing. It won’t need convincing. It won’t require me to prove I am enough. It will arrive with joy, stay with intention, and last with depth.

✨ Honey Note: If you’re standing in this same place, missing someone who didn’t choose you—know that you are still chosen. Chosen by God, chosen by life, chosen by love itself. The right person will see you, treasure you, and never risk letting you go. Until then, keep living, keep learning, and keep loving yourself the way you deserve.