When Healing Means Letting Go

The Day My Heart Learned to Choose Me

A broken heart can leave you shattered—or it can teach you how to bloom. Mine reminded me of the most important truth: I am worthy of love that doesn’t hide me, mute me, or make me beg to belong.

There’s a kind of heartbreak that changes you forever. It’s not the type you patch up with a weekend of distraction or a new routine—it’s the kind that forces you to face truths you never wanted to see.

For me, it was realizing that the man I once believed was the love of my life didn’t love me at all. Not truly. Not in the way I needed or deserved.

At first, I resisted that truth. I replayed every word, every promise, every “I love you” as though maybe I had misunderstood. I tried harder, loved deeper, overlooked more red flags than I care to admit. I wanted so badly to believe that if I just showed up with enough grace and devotion, he would choose me.

But he never did.

The Lessons Pain Teaches

I look back now, and the memories sting:

• Being hidden from family photos, because my presence might upset his ex-wife.

• Being told I couldn’t join family trips, because his sisters didn’t want me there.

• Hearing him say “forever,” but watching his actions prove otherwise.

• Seeing my joy muted, my love treated like something to be managed instead of celebrated.

I gave up apartments, plans, even pieces of myself—all in the name of love. But it wasn’t love. It was convenience for him, and compromise for me.

And perhaps the hardest lesson of all: I was never going to be chosen.

Choosing Myself

For nearly two years now, I’ve been sifting through the rubble of that loss. The grief, the disbelief, the longing—it’s been its own kind of haunting. But slowly, I’m learning something I should have known all along:

The protecting, the pleasing, the compromising—it can’t be about him anymore. It can’t be about how he feels, what his family thinks, or whether he’ll ever change. Because the truth is, he never loved me. And he never will.

So the only choice left is to love myself enough to stop caring. To place my heart in my own hands, and protect it with everything I’ve got.

Preparing for Real Love

Is that selfish? Maybe. But it’s also survival. It’s also wisdom.

Because one day, the right man will come along. The one who says, “YOU—I don’t want to live without YOU.” The one who doesn’t hide me, mute me, or make me beg for a place at his table. The one who doesn’t need to be convinced to choose me—because he already knows he has.

And when that day comes, I’ll be ready. Michael will be nothing more than a distant memory. Someone I used to know, nothing more.

The Strength You Carry Forward

A broken heart doesn’t just shatter you—it remakes you.

You learn:

• To trust actions over words.

• That being hidden is not being honored.

• That “not ready” is simply another way of saying “not the right one.”

• That your capacity to love is not a flaw—it’s a gift, and it will be cherished by the right man.

And most of all, you learn that missing someone doesn’t mean you should continue to want them back. It only means you’re human.

Honey Note

If you’re walking through heartache, know this: the ache won’t last forever. The person may fade into memory, but the lessons will remain. And those lessons will carry you into a love that is safe, true, and lasting.

One day, you won’t even remember why you loved the wrong man so fiercely—you’ll only remember how much stronger you became when you finally chose yourself.

—Honey

P.S. Did he shatter me? Yes. But sometimes shattered glass catches the light in ways whole glass never could. And because of that, I know I’ll be more than okay—I’ll be better than I was before. Stronger. Softer. Wiser. And when the time is right, I’ll be the kind of lover, and the kind of woman, I was always meant to be.

Dear Love,

I miss you. I probably always will in some way, because what we shared was rare. It was electric and real and filled with laughter and connection in all the ways that matter. You woke up pieces of me I didn’t know had been sleeping. For that, I will always be grateful.

But you did not choose me. And though it breaks me some days, I honor that choice. Love must be freely chosen, not clung to or bargained for. The woman you choose will be your whole world, and I pray she is everything your soul longs for. I pray she loves you back with the kind of devotion and joy you deserve—and that you give her the commitment and security that true love requires.

As for me, I will keep moving forward. I will miss you, yes. But I will not let missing you keep me from living fully, from believing in the love that still waits for me. The right man will see my worth instantly. He won’t hesitate or let me slip away. And when he comes, I will know.

So this is my blessing, my goodbye, and my release: may you find the kind of love that leaves no doubts, no interference, no second-guessing. And may I, too, be found by the one who chooses me without question.